Dear CSI and other hi-tech television producers

Please stop perpetuating the myth that any old grainy image can be enhanced beyond all recognition. It’s not possible to read a newspaper at a thousand paces any more than it is to see around corners, even with a Really Big Computer.

Every time one of my users brings me a photo and asks, “can you make it really detailed like they do in CSI”, I die a little inside.

Love and kisses.


  1. Onkar says:


    I stopped watching CSI long time back. All the characters were too serious all the time.

    I like Castle a lot. The characters look & feel more human and their methods are old school (they use white board). 🙂

  2. Tor says:

    And in CSI any GPS receiver is also a transmitter.. so they can just track anyone who happens to have a GPS chip somewhere. Through the GPS satellite system itself, none the less.

    And in a lot of shows (won’t swear I’ve seen this in CSI yet, but it would fit in..) you can simply move a satellite to hover over any building, so that you can monitor people around it in real time. Isaac Newton would have some issues with that.

    Some real CSI guy said the CSI show is as far removed from real CSI as Star Wars is from the space shuttle.

  3. And when you die, who will they call?

  4. Kumar Appaiah says:

    As a student of information theory, I assure you that there are fundamental limits on how much information you can recover based on statistical models. However, I still like it, because it’s fun. As long as you remember and acknowledge that it is fiction, I don’t think you need to worry! 🙂

  5. shermann says:

    It’s a OSI Layer 8 problem with missing OSI Layer 9.

    OSI Layer 8: Human Being sitting in front of a computer or TV or whatever appliance.
    OSI Layer 9: Human Beings computer device between left and right shoulder, inserted in a small sized “nutshell”

    Just smile at them and tell them: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t have the time for that. I need to fix the DeLorean Timemachine, the Flux Compensator broke. But when this is fixed, I’ll come back to you, Mr./Mrs. … what was your name again? McFly?”

    Take it easy 😉

  6. Robert Hart says:

    My favourite is the episode where they have a photo taken on a cell phone camera that happens to contain a person wearing reflective sunglasses.

    They zoom in on the glasses ‘compensate for distortion’ and produce a high quality version of the view from where he was standing!

  7. Robert Hart says:

    If you’re in the UK, Spooks has some pretty special ‘bending of the rules’ when it comes to technology.

    Apparently if MI5 need to call you and your phone is switched off, they can turn it on remotely.

  8. tissit says:

    I just wish they’d replace that goddamned kla-wrsssshh sample. Digital cameras don’t have motor drives!

Comments are closed.